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FOR YOU: |
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FOR CAREGIVERS & LOVED ONES: |
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General: |
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Don't... |
Consider consulting an oncologist before
contacting a surgeon, as sometimes surgeons aren't as up-to-date on the
latest treatments for breast cancer unless they are a breast cancer
surgeon.
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~ act all sunny & happy all the time -
it's OK to be "real". By the same token, don't look to her to help your
fears and uncertainties - find a support group or someone to talk to. |
Remember - a lumpectomy plus sentinel
node biopsy plus radiation treatment has exactly
the same prognosis as a mastectomy! Don't assume you have to have a
mastectomy for the best results - ask your oncologist what your
realistic options are.
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~ assume she can't do anything, or treat her
like an invalid. Try to let her do as much as she wants without
over-tiring herself or jeopardizing her health. Discussion helps you know. |
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If you will be receiving chemotherapy,
consider asking your doctor about having a port placed during surgery. |
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~ be surprised if she can't tolerate certain
smells, especially food preparation. Let friends and family know, too,
and ask that they refrain from wearing cologne, etc. when visiting.
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ASK! ASK! ASK! Don't assume
anything. ASK your doctors, caregivers, technicians performing tests,
anytime you don't understand something or have a question. |
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~ bring fresh flowers or plants if her white
blood cell counts are low, as they are a potential source of bacteria.
Let her family and friends know ahead of time as well and suggest they
bring a magazine or gift certificate for a massage or other personal
gift. |
Make a list of your questions to
refer to when you go to see your physician. You may think you'll
remember, but a list makes sure you get the answers you need. It also
helps your doctor know how to help you.
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Do... |
Consider taking a friend or
relative with you to all doctors' appointments to take notes, and/or
take a tape recorder. You think you'll remember, but it's difficult to -
partly because there is so much, partly because of emotional overload.
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~ ask her if it's OK
to ask questions. She might be afraid of boring or scaring you,
but talking can help. |
Don't be afraid to get a second (or a
third!) opinion. You need to feel confident and comfortable with the physician(s) you choose to join
with you in this battle.
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~ surprise her with little acts that reassure her she's still attractive and
feminine. |
don't assume pain or discomfort are
a natural side-effect. Let your physician know ANY little symptom -
sometimes a simple change can make all the difference in the world.
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~ be prepared for her tastes to change from
day to day. Some days she won't want favorite foods because they don't
taste good. Other times, she will be able to eat a dish that couldn't be
tolerated just the day before.
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Let some things go. At least once a day
ask yourself "Who cares?" - if the house doesn't get tidied, or your
teeth don't get flossed. This helps reduce stress. |
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~ have food within easy reach at home. For example: a snack-pack of
applesauce or pudding and a spoon on the bedside table if she isn't
feeling well that day, or a bag of cut-up carrots on the top shelf of
the refrigerator.
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Tap into your faith. Every religion offers
comfort to help endure life’s trials. You may want to join a prayer
group at your synagogue or church if you belong to one. It can also help
to read inspirational books and/or scripture. Find favorite prayers and
say them often.
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~ have meals and snacks ready so she can have something to eat when she is ready.
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Give yourself time to cry, it helps with emotional healing. If crying
isn't your way of dealing with stress, that's fine too, everyone deals
with stress differently.
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~ be prepared for times when she is able to eat only one or two foods
for a few days in a row, until side effects diminish. Even if she can't
eat at all, still encourage plenty of fluids.
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Don't let yourself get overwhelmed. ASK
for help - most of your friends and loved ones want to help but don't
know how. Have specifics in mind in case they ask - picking up laundry
or kids, grocery shopping, etc.
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~ talk to her about needs and concerns, and about ideas that might work
best. A willingness to be flexible and supportive no matter what will
help her feel in control of the situation.
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Learn the art of the nap! Naps are
immensely therapeutic, especially if you’re undergoing radiation or
chemotherapy. Even 20 minutes can make a big difference in your mood and
overall sense of well-being - even long after your diagnosis and
treatment, naps can help. |
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~ try not to push her into eating and drinking. Encourage and support
without being overwhelming.
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Don’t blame yourself. No one knows what
causes breast cancer. Don’t try to figure out what you did to bring on
this illness. There are no answers.
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~ stock the pantry and freezer with favorite
foods so that you won't need to shop as often. Include foods you know
she can eat even when she is sick.
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Treatment-related: |
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~ keep foods handy that need little or no preparation, for example,
pudding, peanut butter, frozen entrees, tuna fish, cheese, and eggs.
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Talk to your doctor about your anti-nausea
medications. It is easier to take them before you begin feeling
nauseous, rather than chasing the nausea.
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~ do some cooking in advance and freeze in meal-sized portions.
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If you will be receiving Adriamycin ("red
devil") for part of your chemo treatments, get a cup of
ice (crushed, Sonic-type works best!) and a spoon before the treatment
begins. Keep ice in your mouth the ENTIRE time that the
Adriamycin is being administered and you won't get the typical mouth
sores. Once the treatment is finished you can stop eating the ice. (Yes,
you may get a brain freeze but it's more than a fair trade-off, I promise!)
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~ let friends or family members help with shopping and cooking if they
ask how they can help.
~ take time for yourself to re-charge (even just watching a TV program
you especially like or taking a 5-mile run). Just make sure she
doesn't need you before you take off or zone out. |
A zinc tablet taken every day can
minimize the metallic taste associated with chemo.
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~ ask her for a "to
do" list. |
Your physician will be able to predict
fairly accurate if and when your hair will begin to fall out. Schedule a
time to buy a wig BEFORE that date (and allow for shipping time!) so
that you can transition directly into a wig. Plus it's easier to match
hair color and styles while you still have your own hair, if that's
important to you. But also consider this opportunity to create a new
you! If you've always wondered what it'd be like to be a blond, now is
your chance! And remember - most insurance companies will pay at least a
partial benefit for a wig, but you need a written prescription from your
doctor and be sure to check on approved providers.
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~ If she craves company but tires easily, volunteer to be the
traffic cop. Time visits and then gently let visitors know it's
been long enough.
~ visit
www.menagainstbreastcancer.org for more great caregiver tips
and info.
~ encourage her to keep a journal. It's been
shown that women who express their feelings cope better |
Eat a light meal or snack before going
for your treatment.
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Sometimes smells that never bothered you
before will become nearly intolerable. Don't be afraid to ask people to
refrain from wearing colognes around you, or preparing foods that don't
have much odor.
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DON'T eat your favorite meal or food
the day of a treatment (or you may not ever eat it again!)
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Stock the pantry and freezer with favorite
foods so that you won't need to shop as often. Include foods you know
you can eat even when you are sick.
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Keep foods handy that need little or no preparation, for example,
pudding, peanut butter, frozen entrees, tuna fish, cheese, and eggs.
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Do some cooking in advance and freeze in meal-sized portions.
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Talk to friends or family members about helping with shopping and
cooking. Or, ask a friend or family member to manage that job for you.
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Remember - people are often willing and
anxious to help you but don't know how, so let those who care about you
take on the tasks that will allow you to focus on getting through
treatments as comfortably as possible.
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Talk to a registered dietitian about your
concerns and what you might expect. She or he can give you ideas and
help you plan meals. Ask for help in developing a grocery list with
foods that might help with potential side effects, such as constipation
or nausea. Ask about what has worked for other patients.
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Here's a great link that gives a review of products that are helpful
during chemotherapy:
http://www.rethinkbreastcancer.com/chemo_care.html |
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